Many leaders who have too little time have strong negative feelings such as stress, frustration and disappointment, many of which have been going on for a long time, creating a great sense of helplessness.
The first step to change, therefore, is often to admit this helplessness and seek help. Fortunately, this is viewed positively these days, so many people offer help. The question is how to choose the right person.
From my experience, there are three criteria that have proven to be effective:
The person should know what they are doing.
Many people are empathetic and want to help others. However, for you to move forward, empathy alone is not enough: you may no longer be alone in your misery, but you will not move forward. Your change is substantial, arduous and demanding and requires knowledge and experience from psychology, biology and neuroscience and deep experience in organizing one’s time well.
The person should have a plan.
To help is a deeply human desire, but it is often limited to „How can I help you?“ Experience shows that such changes take months and should follow a structure to be permanent. So ask the people who offer to help you what they want to do and when.
The person should represent your interests.
Many people with whom you have close contact have their own interests: Your partner wants to gain her own space. Your colleague who regularly asks you for advice wants to be able to continue to do so. Your colleague, who values your company, wants to maintain this. Their view of your situation is correspondingly subjective. There is a great danger that these people will unconsciously change it in a direction that does not endanger their interests. Therefore, for each helper, consider what they would lose if you change.